Icy's Delivery Service
by LoveLoveLovix
Summary: When you need something- anything! And you need it fast? Call the only member of the Trix Coven with a delivery service.
1. Dear Diary, I Love Riven

**Icy's Delivery Service**

**AN: If you believe Icy is a kleptomaniac, please click A. If you think this story is OOC, please select B. If you like banana cream pie, please pick option C. Enter now.**

On a random day, nudged neatly into the end of the first season (in fact, let's say it's right after they took Bloom's power, and before the episode where the Trix summon the Army of Decay. Add a couple days into that, despite how little sense it makes), Icy decided she needed a break.

She considered a spa, but as the only spa for witches in all of Magix was in Cloud Tower, three doors down and a left from her old dorm, that was impossible. They were planning to take over CT in a few days, of course, but Great Dragon damn it, she wanted to relax _now_. In a moment of desperation, she went through that big stack of crap she had stolen from Alfea on her many exploits there. There was Musa's favorite guitar pick… how someone could have a favorite piece of plastic was beyond Icy, but it was still a chip in Musa's side. So that made Icy happy.

She had Tecna's "computer chip of statistical probability" and Flora's talking plant (it was dead, though. Being a witch of ice had a bad effect on that of the _plantae _kingdom). She had taken Stella's ring at some point, of course, but they had gotten it back. Snatching it up again, however, had been easy. Not only had the Winx never suspected, but none of their fans really had either.

But of course, Icy's pride and joy had belonged to Bloom. Not, if you would believe it, the Dragon Fire, though she did now have that too. But rather, a collection of badly-dubbed Earth anime.

On this particular day, she selected the classic "Kiki's Delivery Service," a heartwarming story about a young witch with no self-esteem and a really awful fashion sense. After watching it once, she sniffled, her cold heart melted by the softness of young love and cleaning supplies. After watching it twice, she started to cry. After watching it three times, she decided to start her own delivery service. "KNUT!" she yelled.

"Yes?" he said as he ran clumsily towards his mistress.

Despite her new passion and warmer heart, she maintained a superior, cold sneer as she said, "I want your cleaning supplies. Specifically… broom."

"Ma'am?" he asked, looking puzzled. Or maybe constipated. With Knut, it was hard to tell.

"Just do it!" she shrieked.

He quickly obliged, and Icy sent him away to his closet. She then proceeded to enchant the broomstick with the levitation powers that came naturally to witches. What, did you think they had little tiny wings or something?

The next step was looking for something to actually, well, deliver. Other than the obvious doom and destruction to the whole of the magical universe, of course. She could have put posters up somewhere, but after the humiliation of getting expelled, she didn't want people knowing her cell number. She knew there were always openings in the mail-order spell delivery team, but half the point of this was entrepreneurship. Had to learn to manage a business before you could manage an enslaved universe. Baby steps.

Eventually she found a love note Darcy had written to Riven in a purple notebook. Kind of dumb, really. Darcy thought her sisters didn't approve (when they were really just jealous). So why write something out where they could find it? ESPECIALLY when you can communicate telepathically with your lover boy… hem hem, "puppy dog."

_Dear Riven_, it read

_I really think you're cute and very strong. A lot of people think that just because I am a powerful witch, not to mention the most intimidating hottie babe in all Magix, I don't have needs. But that's what I love about my puppy. While you may be under my spell, and have hidden feelings for that pixie Musa that you refuse to admit, you get me, Riv! You know me well enough to know that my real shoe size is 13, even if I cram into a size 9, and find me those awesome heels in my real size because now I am not afraid to be out of proportion to everybody else in this damned animation. You know I want to take over the universe, but still care. You even know that I considered going to Alfea, and it was only the color pink that repelled me!_

_I love that I can trust you with these things, Riv. Maybe it's the Secrecy Spell I put on you on our first date. Or the charm that makes you forget anything I say that would make you like me less. But I prefer to think that it's just you, you, and your bodilicious self._

_Luv luv, kissy kissy,_

_Darcy, aka "Stiletto"_

Icy, cold heart and all, believed in true love, especially if it was all built on bunch of lies. She knew she had found her thing to deliver. Riven, the eldest Trix sister reasoned, simply had to know what her sister felt.

She tore the love letter out of it's purple notebook, slipped on one of Stormy's old things (it was the closest thing she could find to Kiki's dress), grabbed her duck, and mounted the broom. "Hold on tight, Jiji!" she cried as she took off through the window.

"Mama?" squawked the duck, surprised at the name.

"Shut up," Icy muttered as they gained altitude. The night was clear and beautiful, there was a gorgeous full moon… not that that was anything new, it was always a full moon in Magix. It took her half an hour to fly to Red Fountain, ten minutes to sneak it under Riven's pillow with a telekinesis spell, and another half hour to return to her own cozy dorm. By that time, it was three in the morning, and she was feeling tired, so she climbed into her four-poster bed, setting the alarm for noon. The joys of not having to attend school were many, humiliation aside.

It was three hours too early that Icy awoke to sobs. She looked around for the fairy, but saw only an enraged Darcy hovering over a whimpering Stormy. "What is going on?" the leader of the Trix demanded.

"Stormy took a very important page out of my diary. And lied about it," Darcy growled.

Icy turned her head so Darcy would not see the elder witch's relief that she couldn't read her sisters' minds. "Fine then," she said, her voice cold as ice, her ever easier façade. "Carry on."

Darcy did, and Stormy disappeared for a few days to recover her sanity before they took over the magical universe.


	2. Teacher's Pet

**Icy's Delivery Service, Chapter Two**

**Teacher's Pet**

**AN: Every time you help me think of something for Icy to deliver, it saves me a half an hour of time and assists in the birth of a puppy dog, which are not allowed in Light Haven (see below). Any ideas shall be loved and cherished as if they were my own. I'm okay with open adoptions and will send you updates and pictures as the child grows… oh, wait, wrong advert.**

**This fic chapter is dedicated to the masses of people who are teacher's pets, whether by choice or luck. I know how you feel. And so does Icy.**

After being sent to Light Haven, the Trix sisters were extremely grumpy. Not only had they stripped the girls of their powers, their stolen objects, and their wardrobes (they had been stuck with sunny yellow robes and green headbands!), but they had plopped the girls down in some sunshiny, summery valley.

Of course, Icy thought this incredibly serene and peaceful. It looked very much like the valley in the last scene of Kiki, but she wasn't going to bring it up.

The sisters had been walking. "This is the eighth time we have walked over the horizon and ended up back where we started," Darcy commented. She had been keeping count. There really was nothing else to do unless you wanted to participate in Arts and Crafts or Music Therapy or Yoga. Stormy had been a tad interested in the latter, but Darcy had mentioned that if Stormy was really interested in her inner self and her chakras, she could wait until Darcy found a way to get her powers back.

So they walked, and made another horizon round before a voice came over the magical PA system. "Will Icy please report to the main office for her weekly checkup?"

Weekly checkups measured weight (to make sure you haven't been eating anything and have maintained the standard weight for a Winx Club character), power (to make sure you can't escape), and Level of Goodness. Icy was extremely happy that the results of this were all confidential, as her Level of Goodness had recently charted at "above average" for a witch. This was a new accomplishment that had earned the girl a pat on the head and a sticker on the "I'm a Model Prisoner" chart next to her name.

Icy smiled as she went in for the checkup. Miss Barbatea, who held down a reliable summer job at the do-gooder's boot camp, smiled. "Well, if it isn't our favorite little patient! How are you today, Icy?"

"Very well, and you?" The witch went for a full-on cutesy anime smile, with closed eyes and clasped hands. It worked especially well.

Barbatea's smile grew larger. "Oh, just fine, sweetie. Now you can go on in, the doctor is expecting you."

Icy pulled down her ponytail so her blue-white hair fell to the floor. This made her face look rounder and younger. It also tended to give her bad acne from the natural oils, but as long as she washed carefully that night, she should be fine. She opened the door to the doctor's office, and was surprised to see not only her physician, but also the colony director. "Hello," she said cautiously.

"Miss Icy, a pleasure to meet you!" said the director. "I'm here to ask you something after your checkup."

The doctor motioned to a large scale with a fuzzy pink cover and smiley faces all over. Icy hopped on excitedly, and the doctor looked at the rating thing. "Weight is excellent! You've just hit 'three weeks to live anorexic.' And still no power, so you couldn't escape."

"Why would I want to?" Icy said innocently, though in truth the beauty was a little boring.

"And Level of Goodness charts at a continuous 'above average.' Good work, Icy," he said fondly with a pat and another Hello Kitty sticker on the chart.

The director was warm as he asked, "I heard you are skilled in deliveries?"

Icy didn't respond. After the fiasco of Darcy's diary, she was a bit suspicious of everyone who knew this.

The director sensed her unease. "Relax, Icy!" he said. "We just have our best pupils deliver behavior infractions to the head office. It's a break from endless walking in our loverly Virtual Meadow."

That was all she needed to hear. "What do I need to deliver?"

He handed her a note. "Will you get this to Guard 75A over in the clearing across the colony? He promised to meet me for lunch today, but I have been struck by a strange paranoia that bad things are about to happen. I plan to be holed up in my magical shelter for the next few hours."

"Okay!" the ice witch agreed cheerfully. She paraded out the building and across the prison/boot camp/colony of Light Haven. She passed her sisters, Darcy finally having reached ten times across the virtual meadow. Then she got to the guards.

She could hear them talking from a while back. "So wait, if they're not prisoners, why are we guards?" one of them asked the other.

His friend was patient. "Because we're here to guard the guests, as in to protect them." Icy thought that was reasonable. She felt as warm and safe and comfy as she could be.

The first guard persisted, however, replying, "Protect them from what?"

And of course that was when a big, scary looking bird appeared in the air. The guard who had been arguing gulped. "I had to ask."

Icy was terrified. "Here, think fast!" she said, and threw the note at the guard before going to find her sisters. She could think of exactly two things that this could accomplish: one, she could break out, and get back to a world that had fashion and puppy dogs (due to the allergies of the director, there were none here), or they could run and hide.


	3. The Dark Abyss In My Mind

**Icy's Delivery Service, Chapter Three**

**That Dark Abyss In My Mind**

**Thanks and Stuff: Thanks to Chibi Horsewoman for her idea. Maybe it wasn't exactly what she was thinking I would do with it… but oh well. I also borrowed her idea for footnotes, as I made way too many references in this one chapter alone.**

**AN: My daddy says I have anger issues. ****BUT I DON'T, OKAY?**

You'd think that getting expelled would have severed the bond between Professor Griffin and her best and favorite student, Icy. In reality, it only made the two powerful witches closer. Griffin had a rule about getting close to her students (the Magix Ethics Committee didn't need any extra ammunition against a school for dark arts), and now that Icy wasn't learning there anymore… well, the two were close.

Sure, there were strains on their friendship. When the Trix Coven tried to overturn the hierarchy at the school, that was bad. But it all turned out to be one giant misunderstanding. They didn't really steal the Dragon's Flame. They just borrowed it for a while (1). And of course there was the whole issue with Icy copying Griffin's stiletto boot trend. But the two pals always got over it.

It was only natural that Icy was the first person Griffin would confide in after a really wild night.

Three nights after the beginning of term, the headmistress of Cloud Tower took a night off. Dealing with a school full of witches was hard on the nerves. So she headed out with Faragonda and Saladin to the Hex Café, which after nine pm was over-eighteens only. Faragonda looked more natural than she had in ages… and younger, too… in the small bar and restaurant, reliving her witchy roots (2).

They had a few brews and reminisced a little bit. Then they drank a bit more, and then they drank a little more until they couldn't remember anything at all. And the next morning, Griffin was in her comfy bed, with a piece of the Codex tramp-stamped on her back. "Great Dragon damn it…" Griffin had cursed, along with some other words that produced very vivid imagery of the offspring of the Ancestresses(3).

She called up Saladin and Faragonda, only to find that they both had them too. "You know, it might not be so bad if Athena had one too," Sally (a childhood nickname for the old headmaster) joked.

"Yes, but she doesn't. That just makes it trashy," Faragonda noted.

Griffin thought (all witches think a lot)(4). "I could brew something."

"No more alcohol," Faragonda said quickly.

"A potion, actually. Something high-grade to cover the tattoos. It should conceal it until we're able to get them removed… or forever… you know, I've heard the removal process hurts quite a bit." Griffin started mentally compiling the things she'd need.

A day later, she had a cauldron full of beautiful concealer, something so powerful that you needed a prescription just to get enough to cover one zit. She tested it out on herself, first… safety reasons, not selfishness. And then she called Icy.

"Ice Ice Baby, could you do me one tiny little favor?" she requested when her BFFL picked up.

Icy thought, then realized that not only could she use it as leverage later, but it would also be nice and kind. That was what friends did. "What do you need, Griffy?"

"I need a potion delivered to Saladin and Faragonda. I brewed it last night for… dignity reasons."

"I can do it," Icy decided. She grabbed the old broom that she had never returned to Knut and made her way to CT.

Griffin met her at the gate of the school, and handed her two vials with the potion in it. "Remember, don't let the students see you. It would ruin my rep."

Icy was personally of the opinion that true friends shouldn't be ashamed of each other, but knew that it was more than popularity at stake for the Griffster. It was her job.

Icy had no problems getting it to Faragonda- she had sent Livy to collect it for her, so Icy remained unseen, and she knew it could be trusted to get to Alfea safely. But going through Red Fountain's security was annoying. Nothing to be particularly worried about (in fact, she felt that the one they destroyed was much better, if less impressive), but definitely annoying.

And that was it. The day (and the dignity of the three teachers) was saved, Icy made about $30 USD, and there wasn't a little bit of ink left visible on anyone.

Except for one certain pixie in the Pixie Village. "Great Dragon damn it(5)!" Athena sighed as she tried to get a look at the tattoo she had no clue how she had gotten.

* * *

(1) What? It's true!

(2) Yep, that's true too. Look it up.

(3) Translation: Son of a Witch

(4) My favorite book when I was little, "Owl Babies," had a recurring line that went, "The baby owls thought (all owls think a lot)." It's making a little fun of that.

(5) You may notice my Winx characters (that is, Iginio's characters that I control, mwaha) say this a lot. I figure, the Great Dragon is their equivalent to a god, right?


	4. Just In From Our Homemakers Department

**Icy's Delivery Service, Chapter Four**

**This Just In From Our Homemaker's Department**

**AN: My original plan for the next chapter was a rivalry between Livy and Icy (it's only logical). But while in the kitchen, inspiration struck. And what came out but this?**

**I am not as random as you think I codex.

* * *

**

Darcy had brought home another boy, and Darkar was pissed.

It wasn't what you'd think, believe it or not. It wasn't jealousy, or shit-you're-revealing-our-secret-hideout, or anything like that. It was just, you know, embarrassing. The lair was a pigsty. Clothes scattered the girls' rooms, the television was turned on with various video game controllers all around, and the cave floor hadn't been swept in ages. She should have known better.

Darkar did a quick pickup as the girl gave her new boy toy the grand tour. Which pretty much was, "dark room, dark room, throne room, dark room, room where we sleep, dark room, dark room, kitchen."

"What do you need a kitchen for?" said the random, eyeing Darcy's nonexistent waistline.

Darcy looked down at herself. It was four inches around her tummy, while her sisters were at a perfect two point five. "We use the kitchen," she said hotly, "for our magic. Spells and potions and all that jazz."

The boy may have been somewhat attractive- even Darkar, in his hetero glory, could see that. But he definitely either didn't know what was good for him, or was not the darkest feather on the phoenix. "Don't they, like, confiscate your powers once you get expelled?"

Darcy's eyes blazed, but she quickly put on a smile. "How about we whip something up in the kitchen just for you?"

The boy's eyes buggered out as Darcy tied him to Darkar's throne. "I'll show you not to mess with me," she smiled, a beautiful demon.

Icy walked into Shadowhaunt at this point, confused by Darkar standing around and looking smug, Darcy looking like a dominatrix (no pun intended), and a boy looking both happy that he was getting… erm, that sort of attention, and also, completely scared.

"Ice!" Darcy exclaimed, breaking out of her sex slavery dreams. "I need you to pick up a few things for me. Take a list down."

Icy pulled out a piece of paper and a pen.

"Eggs of a phoenix. Oil- the kind isn't especially specific. And a feather. Preferably from a large and predatory bird." Darcy ticked off each ingredient on her fingers. "I have everything else I'll need to do this one. Maybe enough for a double batch."

Icy knew exactly what Darcy was planning to make. "Does new guy have any idea…?" she asked vaguely, a little surprised by the expression on his face.

"I'm sure he can guess. It's not brain surgery."

Icy sighed, headed back out into the cold, and flew to Magix to compile the ingredients. Being as it WAS a magical dimension, and powers were not uncommon, even the strangest of things on the list were quickly located in the local Wal-Mart. As a treat, Icy also picked up a new novel for Darkar, a story he had expressed interest in called, "Falling In Love And Having Children With A Woman Who Hates Me." It seemed too sappy and romantic for his appearance, but there were a lot of things about Darkar's personality that did. He greatly enjoyed defying stereotypes, along with peppermint and romance novels.

Icy flew back to the lair with the eggs, the oil (very simple vegetable oil, in case you wondered), and a hawk feather. As Darcy exclaimed over the perfection, and her lover boy struggled to free himself from the ropes, Icy helper her friend get out the other ingredients and supplies.

They mixed the special powder with the egg and the oil, along with a bit of enchanted water. Darcy stirred 50 times clockwise. The 50 times counterclockwise. That was her secret to making the mix even better, even though the directions never mentioned it.

Leaving Icy to finish it up, she sauntered over to the boy. "You're in for quite a treat," she said seductively. "Just give us a little more time."

Forty-five minutes later, the brownies were out of the oven, and the three villains (Stormy was out on some retreat) were having fun decorating them with smiley-face icing and force-feeding them to Darcy's boyfriend. "This'll show you not to mess with me! We're gonna make you eat so many brownies that you'll get fat and kicked off the show!"

The kid's eyes bugged out of his head. "NOOOOOO!" he wailed.

But it sound like, "NRRRRMMMPPHHH!" because of the chocolaty goodness in his mouth.

Darcy tickled him with the feather, making it look incredibly inappropriate. "Isn't this fun?"


End file.
